Let's talk about my mental health and how it affects my physical health. I have binge eating disorder as I stated in a previous blog post. It's one of the ways that I cope with stress and anxiety and it's been an unhealthy tool I have used since I was a child. For the last two years since my mother's passing and the world pandemic my binge eating has been out of control and it has been something I have not been able to get a grip on until recently. Since my last post my anxiety and depression medications have leveled off and I am feeling so much better. However, I am still struggling with my eating disorder. It's been hard to manage my food after so long of not managing it. This will be a battle I face for the rest of my life. As a result of the binge eating I gained 67 lbs over the last two years. My weight has been a lifelong battle. I topped the scales at 378 lbs and managed to lose 160 lbs in 2017 and 2018. I maintained that loss for most of 2019 until shit hit the fan. It has been a daily struggle to just not put the full amount of weight back on. Parts of me are proud that I only gained 67. Parts of me are so disappointed that I am back in this position where I have a massive amount of weight to lose again. I take things one day at a time because that is what I have to do. Not being happy in your body is a direct correlation to your mental health. It affects every part of my life. My knees hurt, my back hurts and my poor feet. It can be hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Being this size means that I can't participate in some activities because I either physically can't do them OR I am over the weight limit. Weight aside, there are things that fall short when my mental health is struggling. Things like shaving my legs, dying my hair, doing my nails. When I am in bouts of depression there are days where just taking a shower is the bare minimum I can manage. My environment starts to change. I start doing the minimum when it comes to chores and household items and then as the weeks and months pass the thought of getting my house clean to the level that I usually maintain it seems beyond overwhelming. My marriage suffers because all I want to do is lay in a dark cold room and watch TV unbothered by anything that requires brain space and energy. When my mental health is suffering it takes everything in me to make active changes to improve it but it is possible. I start with getting a good night of sleep, drinking lots of water, and eating foods that I know make me feel good. I force myself to complete small tasks that have a big impact on my environment. I schedule self care days where I focus solely on shaving my legs, dying my hair, doing my nails and I usually add in some sort of facial. I always feel better when my environment is clean and I feel like I have physically taken care of myself. Lastly, I seek professional help both medically for prescriptions and mentally like therapy. I have decided that I no longer want years of my life to pass where depression and anxiety cripple my ability to find joy.
I know I am not alone and so many people can relate to what I am sharing.
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**These conversations are just our experience from our perspective and do not replace medical advice in any way. This is your “trigger warning”. We will be discussing all aspects of mental health issues. The content of these podcasts is not intended to be substituted for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. Never delay seeking medical/professional help because of something you have heard on these podcasts. We are not licensed medical professionals, just two chicks on a podcast.